April 23, 2009

Quote:
 
•Great minds discuss ideas 
•Average minds discuss....... events....... 
•Small minds discuss people.....
 
By Eleanor Roosevelt.
 
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I try to be kind and offer a helping hand to everyone that comes into my life.....
 

If we were willing to walk in someone else's shoes for a day or two..... Life would be different.....
 
But.......who wants to see two sides of a story? There's no excitement to that, it's hard to keep the mob mentality going when there's another side to a story, how do you rally the troops to kill thy enemy? Being objective, sharing or assuming personal responsibility.....that idealism would lack drama and diminish personal ego power.... Can't really stick it to someone when you take ownership....(perhaps a little sarcastic on my part, now back to my blog....)
 

It's easier to criticize and blame then it is to accept or compromise. I try and encourage people to take responsibility when they choose to blame others, as I've learned that it seems the more "powerful" way to go......
 
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Here's my responsibility story:
 
In Sept 1989 my father fired me at the age of 21, at that time I had work for him for 5 1/2 years full-time.
 
I hated my father for firing me. I spent 5 years not talking to him, because he did me wrong......... He fucked me over..... I had work hard for him, made him alot of money...... And this is how he repaid ME ?..... By screwing me out of a job........
So I spent the next five years forgiving him and learning to forget the "wrongs" he did to me.........
 
Now at the mature age of 41, perhaps a bit wiser,  I had an epiphany that I shared with my wife Kellie on Feb 21, 2009 at 11:30 at night with tears in my eyes...looking at her eyes I said:
 
"3 years after my father's death.... I realized that all those years I was struggling in my soul to forgive my dad for what he had done to me.......... I should have been apologizing for what I did to him.
 
I realized way back when I was 21 years old , for 3 years, 87, 88, and 89 up to my  termination, up to the day my father said "GET OUT",  that I tortured my father everyday and it only got worse with my cocky confidence...
 
My dad, the president of a successful, sustainable company................I would tell people that dad was a flake, that he had no idea what he was doing, that he was cheap....Him being 58 years old,  and me, the ripe old age of 21?????? (What was I thinking?)
Not realizing that I was influencing morale, corporate attitude etc...... I was the catalyst for undermining his authority, at a time when I should have been publicly supporting my father...... I bred rumors and hate for him....yet I wasn't man enough to challenge him to his face and if I had a face to face, I did not hear what he was saying.
 
I thought I was entitled to be paid more, to be respected more, to be heard more......... I was a coward..... I blamed him, and accepted no responsibility for my actions.  I claimed he drove me to make remarks about him....I was mean, immature and irresponsible...... He was the boss, it was his mission..... And if I didn't like it I should have just left on my own..... Instead, I chose to be cruel and rude to the bitter end until he fired me.

Ya know........it was his company, his vision, his dime...... A good employee, a good manager and a good son would have supported him in his business. I should have used my energy to work with him for his mission, not try and pull the carpet out from under his feet at every turn. This is a man that gave me an opportunity no other man would give a high school drop out, a man that made me think, a man who allowed me to live in his home for free so I could save enough money to buy my own house. This was a man that let me see job contracts, let me watch, let me learn.....let me be part of meetings that no other kid at my age, never mind at 35 or even 45 years of age, would see. This was a man that taught me to get up every morning and go to work come hell or high water ......... In return, I, the ungrateful son, beat the shit out of him behind his back at every corner...........I was stupid, dumb and immature...

I'm really ashamed of what I did now looking back....If I could turn back time or if he could hear me right now , if only.......I would say , I'm SO SORRY for being a jackass.....
 
Forgive me father for I have sinned.............I love you Dad!
 
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Now this is a cool story:
 
When Abraham Lincoln was a trial lawyer in Illinois, he listened patiently for six days as his prominent and highly paid opponent presented arguments in a case.  When his opponent had finished, Lincoln rose and said in his rebuttal, “Gentlemen of the jury, the facts are facts but the conclusions are all wrong,” whereupon the jurors laughed and soon delivered a verdict for Lincoln’s client.  The opposing council, a sophisticated “city slicker,” could not understand how his carefully reasoned arguments had failed to convince the jury, so later he asked the rather unpretentious Lincoln whether he had bribed them.
 
Lincoln replied, “You fancy lawyers with your fine clothes and generous expense accounts stay in the finest hotels and hobnobbing with high society.  I stayed in the same second-rate hotel where the judge and jurors stayed.  We never talked about the case outside of the courtroom, but yesterday I told them this joke over beer: “The son of a farmer, a lad with little experience in life, runs breathlessly to his father and informs him that the barn is burning down.  How do you know, the father asked?  Because the hired hand lowered his pants and the maid lifted her skirts, the boy answered.  Son, the father said, the facts are facts, but the conclusions are all wrong.”
 
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One last comment:
 
I'm human, I make mistakes, I have hurt people..... Caused distrust ...........I'm sorry to whomever I have wronged.......and you know who you are, big stuff and little.....
 
Over the next year or two I'm sure my enemies will do their best to enforce  "An EYE for and EYE" rule......
 
I can only say I'm sorry, take my lumps and keep moving forward. "No excuses, no story, ....... Just sorry".......
 
I'm a little wiser then I was 2 years ago......... a little more humble, my mortality has to be measured.....
 
I promise not to make the same mistakes twice.
 
I try my best to be fair with people, help who I can , make a difference, work hard.......
 
For the people that know me and read this blog I'm sure you can learn from it and the next time you've been wronged you might just want to take a second look in the mirror.......
 
Love to hear from anyone..
At timsblog@stadia.ca.