February 23, 2009

My brother Mike asked me at lunch "What's your definition of loyalty?" This was semi-rhetorical..... I think? As he was challenging  my latest blog (see last entry below) and it's truths or lies.....as I don't think he was fond of what I wrote (at least that's my guess)....

As my brother asked me this question at lunch on Feb. 10th 2009 at a small uncrowded Irish pub in Concord around 1:00pm, I think I was more  surprised he took the time to read my blog......

I did not answer him that day as I wanted to stay on target, keep to the conversation.... focus on the business issue at hand......I also knew that a cheap answer wouldn't do, and this was a topic close to my brothers heart....

Saying that...... my brother is so smart and fast on his feet that answering him on a spontaneous whim is not logical, because if you did and did not share his perspective as he saw it, you would be challenged....... 'Til the cows come home.....

If I had given a simple quip answer it could have been the beginning of his 40 minute, intellectual, spiritual rant-rebuttel to any answer I've ever given without thought or conviction. His anticipated, deep, philosophical reply would encourage any man to go back to his car and reflect for hours, if not days..... Thus I need time to reply.....to think......

But this question; "what is loyalty?" is very complex.

So ........As I sit at home, in front of a window that sprays warm sun across my legs, reading my book, with my dogs snoring at my side on this the 2nd Annual Family Day in Ontario, 5 days after being asked, my brothers question begins to resonate in my mind....

What is loyalty? Hmmmmmmm
I'm not sure what loyalty is? I'm not sure how to measure loyalty or how to describe it.

I think loyalty means something different to each of us.

There is Corporate loyalty...
There is loyalty for your children...
There is loyalty for your spouse...
Loyalty to your favorite sports team..... even if they loose each year (since 1967.... Go leafs!!!!)
There is loyalty for a friend.

And each type of loyalty is measured differently for each of us.

Loyalty is for the moment, an emotion if you wish.....The only time it's measured is at a time of need, and when we don't receive it. We chastise those who do not give it in the way we think it's due.....

I think loyalty is typically measured in a time of adversity, yet it may not seem loyal to the recipient of the loyal action in the time of adversity. (Gotta read that twice)

Many Weeks or years later we might reflect on that moment in time and realize it was an act of loyalty....

"Loyalty" can never be measured or validated by another........And if you look for people, family or friends to commend you on your loyalty, your efforts, or your actions...... And you need your loyalty to be quantified by another....., then perhaps your loyalty, actions or efforts are not so wonderful in the eyes of the people you wish to have praise from.

I give the most loyalty to the people who expect the least from me.... my mother, my grandmother, my wife, ironically....
They love me unconditionally, no matter how stupid I am, or how much I've hurt them......

ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA
The Definition of LOYALTY

LOYALTY, as a general term, signifies a person’s devotion or sentiment of attachment to a particular object, which may be another person or group of persons, an ideal, a duty, or a cause. It expresses itself in both thought and action and strives for the identification of the interests of the loyal person with those of the object. Loyalty turns into fanaticism when it becomes wild and unreasoning; and into resignation when it displays the characteristics of reluctant acceptance. A man without loyalty does not exist. It stirs and arouses him, brings meaning, direction, and purpose into his life and unifies his activities. At the same time, loyalty has a social function. Only man’s willingness, in cooperation with others, to invest his intellectual and moral resources generously and wholeheartedly in something beyond his own narrow circle has it been possible for communities of various kinds to emerge and continue to exist; among them, family, church and nation.

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I don't think I have a clear, personal definition of loyalty yet..... Maybe I'm too young, or I have not learned enough about life.....
I know Loyalty is earned, and can be taken away...You usually don't know loyalty has been taken away until something bad happens.
I think the measurement of loyalty is decided by an emotional perspective at the time of a challenge.
I think corporately Loyalty can be rented but not purchased.
Loyalty is often given spontaneously, yet often never seen.
We only give loyalty if we believe in the other person. Yet it may be limited in how we show it (almost spiritual, like believing in God)
If we think the person is stupid, a lier, a cheat, or we don't believe in their convictions, I'm sure it would be difficult to give "loyalty".
I think acceptance of a person, no matter what....may be loyalty. Blind faith in another? 
Being a believer in an audience of non-believers, protecting the reputation of another despite the fact it might harm your own.
Taking a bullet for the president? Not sure if this is loyalty or training.......rented or bought?
Protecting the idealism of another, even if they are not your own....not allowing anyone to compromise the person you are loyal too, even if that person is not in the room.
Sticking up for someone....
Showing up for something and not knowing why.....

For example:

Many years ago my dog died at 11:30pm at night. Needless to say, my wife was beside herself, and I needed help removing my dog from my property...... So I called a good friend of mine at 12 midnight..... Said come over to my house....... He did not ask why ........ He just showed up......... That's a good friend......That's loyal...He Just showed up......... Because I asked.......... From a dead sleep, .... He showed up....... Not a single question, comment, nothing.....just showed up.....

I'm not sure how you get loyalty, I'm not sure how you wreck it........
But if my brother and I were to talk about loyalty again .......I would say...
Acceptance of others idealisms,
Compassion for others!
Not being critical of other's pasts......
Listening,
Caring,
Are all signs of loyalty.....

Loyalty is often gone unnoticed and must be a selfless act......
And if your given praise for loyalty..... It should probably come as a surprise, that someone actually acknowledged it, because you should never need anyone to validate it...

I have a gentleman in my life named Les, who gives up a ton of time to his church and a soup kitchen in his community.......he is so loyal to his cause, yet expects nothing in return...... That is loyalty.......WOW I really respect his selfless convictions.

Loyalty is what you want it to be....
That's my answer........to "what is loyalty to you?"

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The ECONOMY...... WooooHoooooo!!

My opinion....
Its not at the bottom yet and won't be for another year.
I think the American dollar, the US green back will fall over the next 24 months..... And fall huge, less then .65 cents..... Great for cross boarder shopping and travelling, bad for Canadian manufacturing.
The Canadian dollar will rise to a 1.50 to the US green back....
Which means manufacturing will stop in Canada..... Thank God for natural resources.....
Water, oil, mining, wood......hydro......
By 2011 it will be rock bottom for Canada....... is my guess.......
But by that time, we will be so numb of the finacial challenges, stimulus, infrastructure projects, bla bla bla  ...... We will be out of money... So the only thing left to do is have perseverance, human strength, and this will get us through....... Being numb of all the pain is not a bad thing..... It means we can move on without prejudice....and won't be preoccupied with the worlds problems....(Not that they go away.....they just become part of everyday life) Don't worry we're Canadians, we will survive......
We as Canadians are socialists, we will inherently take care of each other.... We complain about taxes but at the end of the day its our calling to help each other..... Its why I love being Canadian.... Health care, social systems, saying sorry Eh.....
Strong banking, the Quebec way.....
Remember what does not kill you makes you stronger....

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Its not all doom and gloom....
•Cup is half full .... thinking.... Is what Canadians do best......

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These are my thoughts, ideas and predictions........................ right or wrong.......its funny to think that over the last 2 years of writting a BLOG.... How many people actually read it?
What an effect its had.....I get at least 6 new people a month, 6 of the most unlikely people, quoting what I said, challenging the ideas I have, disagreeing or agreeing..... And those 6 people arent even family.....!!!! I love it...
So feel free to Send me an email anytime.... At timsblog@stadia.ca and I will respond........in confidence.......
See you next month.......